Baby Blues

I’m definitely feeling it. It seems like just the normal kind though. I just mostly feel a little useless. Kind of don’t know what to do with myself. I’m still playing WoW and what not, but I just feel like I should be doing more. I know I’m sustaining a life, but she sleeps so much and when she is awake, she’s quite often crying inconsolably. I find myself feeding her just because I know it will make her stop crying. I feel so useless because I can’t make her better.

Part of me wonders if she would even care if I were here. I mean, if she had a boob to suck on and someone to change her diaper, would she even notice if I were gone. They talk about the baby liking the sound of your voice from hearing it in the womb, but I wonder if she feels any attachment to me what’s so ever.

I also miss Curtis a lot of the time. Even when he’s here. I’m not quite sure what I pictured that it would be like, but I thought that I would be so much happier when I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I am happy, but things are different of course. I don’t have time that I can just cuddle with him. Luckily Curtis’s parents are willing to watch her while we take long showers. I like our showers.

I’m hoping all this will eventually pass. I know it will. I have appointments made with Dr. Newbold so I can talk about things. Not for a couple more weeks though. I’ll be fine until then.


3 thoughts on “Baby Blues

  1. If Curtis is not there, you always have someone to talk to, even if they are crying loads. One time I just kept talking to one of my nephews, I would like to think he fell asleep due to the sound of my voice instead of boredom.
    Also I know this sounds weird, but it might help later on, but a few of my nieces and nephews fall asleep to the sound of the vacuum. Right now the youngest, I put him in the swing, turn on the vacuum and he gets soo mesmerized by the sound and the motion he goes to sleep within ten minutes. I think he thinks its cool that something is louder than him, and he stops crying for me…not for my sister, lol.

  2. Pingback: Postpartum Aggression « The Adventures of Lactating Girl

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