First off: No, I’m not pregnant.
The topic is just on my mind because we’ve decided when to try again. I kind of feel like screaming to the world “I’m gonna try to get pregnant starting ____”, but I also kind of feel like that would take some of the charm of it all away, so I’m waiting to give you all the details until we’re there.
Anyway, I want to write a post about birth. Peanut’s birth didn’t go as planned. For a long time I wasn’t okay with how it went. People called us stupid for not seeing the signs. I felt entirely out of control at the hospital. Honestly, I was not happy with how it went at all—even though I did get the natural birth I wanted. I’d like to take a moment here to say it’s okay to be upset about your birth. No matter how your birth went, it’s perfectly alright to be upset that it didn’t go how you pictured it. Don’t let people tell you that you’re not allowed because you have a healthy baby or you survived or blah-de-blah. If your birth didn’t live up to your expectations, you’re allowed to mourn. You’re allowed to take how ever much time you need to get to acceptance of the birth that you had.
Alright, I’m off my soapbox.
Since we have a plan now, I’m obviously starting to get excited. You might think that since I didn’t get the birth that I wanted that I would be afraid of going through it all again, but I’m not. While my birth was vastly different than I expected, it also changed my perspective. I am at the point now where I am able to see how great it is in that perspective. It made me change my birthing views for the better. Yes, I still plan on giving birth naturally, but this time with a twist.
I want a planned homebirth.
I am so excited at the prospect of giving birth at a home. I am excited to plan it. I am excited to connect again with my husband in the way that only birth can make you connect. I am excited to, when it’s all said and done, go upstairs and lay in my bed with my new baby.
(Chances are if you read this blog that homebirth isn’t such a crazy idea for you, but if it does freak you out, check out Bring Birth Home for more information.)
I’m excited to be pregnant again. Yeah, I complained a lot last time, but I still miss having Peanut so close to me. It’s an amazing feeling. I’m excited to go through all of the decision making. I’m excited to re-take our birth classes. I’m excited to hold my new baby in my arms. I’m excited to be that baby’s one and old food source. I’m excited to carry that baby around in my sling while I’m chasing Peanut. I’m excited to have them play together when new baby is older. I’m just plain excited.
I keep thinking I should be terrified and stressed, but I’m just not. I’m ready.
Anyone else looking to add some more love to their family? I’d love to get in touch with other moms who are gearing up to start again!