Some days I wonder what I got myself into.
The other day we were hanging out with one of Peanut’s friends who has a little sister. While they were playing in the pool together, I was sneaking looks at the 6 month old sitting on her mama’s lap. Cutesie little girl smiles at you every time you smile at her. I was thinking about how easy and lovely little babies are and fantasizing about Twig and what he/she will be like. Then her mama asked me if I could hold her while she got stuff into the car. Then she started crying. I felt helpless and had no idea what to do. Even though I have had a baby that small before, it suddenly felt so foreign to me. How do I deal with a child that’s not big enough to tell me what’s wrong? I eventually started playing with her until she was happy-ish again, but it still made me wonder.
How do I go back to step one? How do I deal with a baby that just cries? How do I do this while still giving my toddler the love and attention she deserves? And I am officially terrified. Please tell me where to go from here.
I am now 12 weeks and 3 days along. Just a few more days until the second trimester. Just over 6 months until the baby is here. Wow. Other than freaking out about the prospect of becoming a family of four, things are getting better.
I have a bit more energy. I still nap with Peanut some days and I still go to bed early some days, but I’m not spending all of my free time sleeping anymore. I actually accomplish things now and that makes me a much happier person. I actually had a thoroughly clean house last week (though after this long weekend, the dishes and laundry sorely need some help).
I am developing some new symptoms, but luckily it’s not anything too annoying. Weirdly the books say that I shouldn’t need to pee as often now that my uterus is moving upward, but now is when my body has decided it need to pee. And it needs to pee now. Then, of course, it’s just a trickle. I think it’s my body messing with me.
Then I am incredibly thirsty All. Of. The. Time. I think I drank more than my total of 8 glasses of water today by a factor of one-and-a-half on top of drinking other fluids. I wish I still had the big cup that they gave me at the hospital when Peanut was born. That thing was great for sitting around just drinking tons of water. For now, my Kleen Kanteen is doing fine. Maybe after my 21-day challenge is up I’ll look into buying a new big cup (or possibly I can just go search my mother’s house for one).
Lastly, sudden nausea during the last bite of eating my food. Even when it’s the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted 30 seconds before that nausea, I just can’t eat it. Or sometimes I can’t eat more than half of what’s on my plate. Or sometimes I just can’t eat a food. Or sometimes I can only eat one food. None of it makes sense. What kills me is that if it’s something incredibly unhealthy for me, I can eat a ton (e.g. cookies), but if it’s something I should actually be eating I can’t eat it (e.g. the delicious Chinese food I made the other night).