Pregnant With a Toddler

First thing in the morning at 29 Weeks 1 Day

Being pregnant with a toddler is hard. Some days it’s so hard I want to go back in time so I can slap myself during Peanut’s pregnancy for complaining so much. Some days it’s so hard I want to lock myself in my room. Some days it’s so hard I wonder why I even thought I should have another baby.

I’ve been trying to remember that it’s hard for Peanut too. Even though she maybe doesn’t understand all of it, she still feels her life changing. On top of this she’s at the age where they test their boundaries and she’s in a new preschool (though only has 5 weeks left). On top of even those things her mama isn’t dealing and that makes her not deal.

I understand that she plays off my emotions. I’ve been particularly stressed lately trying to handle her and pregnancy and schoolwork. Even when I feel I have a system down, I still feel stressed more often than not. I know that stress makes her stressed. I know that I lack the patience I once had. I know that I’m not present like I should be a lot of the time that I’m with her. I’m working on being more patient and present, but it’s a daily battle.

I write all this not to discourage anyone from getting pregnant who has a toddler or to say I regret getting pregnant, but just to say that it is hard a lot of days. Even if I wasn’t in school, I’m sure it would still be hard. When the baby comes, I know that it’ll get even harder because they’re so much easier to take care of when they’re inside. I know that moms with even more kids have it even harder. Pregnancy is wonderful, beautiful, and I cherish it, but also pregnancy is just plain hard. Some days I don’t even want to think about the fact that I’m pregnant, and that’s okay.

I can love my pregnancy and the life I’m growing inside of me in general without loving every second of it.

I am now 29 weeks and 0 days along. Woo third trimester (which actually started last week, but I haven’t updated in a while)! There are a lot of exciting things going on like crazy kicks (somehow I was feeling kicks on both sides of my stomach in the exact same place simultaneously today) and Peanut being excited about being a big sister (she tells me the baby will be small and cute and soft). There are also not-so-awesome third trimester things going on like constant heartburn and not being able to eat more than 2 bites without feeling like I’m going to implode.

Peanut is nursing a ton more and it’s kind of driving me nuts. I don’t want to wean, but I really wish that kiddo would calm down. Even when I tell her no (which I do frequently), she still goes nuts asking and asking. She won’t even go to sleep to daddy reading her books anymore, only nursing. When I nurse in the daytime it gives me much more heebeegeebees and is much more irritating (not painful per se, but makes me cringe a bit). I’m sure that a big part of this is directly related to the first section of this post (re the irritability and lack of patience and what not), but Gah! I happily welcome any advice on nursing your toddler during pregnancy.


3 thoughts on “Pregnant With a Toddler

  1. I was very prescriptive about when and where I would nurse DS while I was pregnant. We only nursed in bed, before naps (mostly because of how big my belly got, I couldn’t hold him on my lap anymore) or sleeping. After I had to take him out of the room into the bed to nurse him during the day a few times, he was okay with only nursing at sleeping times.

    The temper tantrums about nursing only got worse after the baby was born, so I weaned when he was a little older than 3 and she was about 8mo, because it was too much for me. I gave him over a month’s notice, telling him every time, “After Christmas, we’re not going to do this anymore.” He still asked for about three months, but the tantrums went away after a couple of weeks. There was just too much for me with the baby, and school, and my job, and him.

    I have tips about going to school with a newborn, as well (what’s your due month? Are you taking a mat. leave from school?) if you’re interested. I was going to a large university when I had my daughter and really had to carve my own path because there was no advocacy for me.

    If you want, you can DM me on twitter and we can chat on gchat, or email.

  2. You look really cute! I know that probably doesn’t make you feel that much better though.

    I wanted to tell you that once the baby is born you might slap yourself for thinking being pregnant with a toddler was hard. I’m not telling you that to discourage you or to be rude, but I wish someone had warned me about just how hard it would be. A lot of it wasn’t so much the tantrums or jealousy; it was dealing with my own feelings and guilt for turning my toddler’s life upside down. I’ve written a lot about it on my blog.

    I don’t know what to tell you about nursing while pregnant because everyone is so different and reacts differently. And weaning has such strong pros AND cons. My toddler weaned around 8 months pregnant, when I had no milk. But I lured him back a month later when I needed him to nurse on the plane. And he nursed like a newborn again when the baby was born. He is now weaned and STILL asks every day, and it’s still hard for me.

    I wish I could give you peace of mind. All I can say is just go with the flow. You can’t forecast the future, and it’s really hard to plan when it comes to nursing your toddler while pregnant. If nursing is irritating you for the moment, try to distract. Distraction and going outside was my best friend. Going on playdates with other kids was a great distraction. Distraction became my mantra. Learning to nurse in a wrap was great because I could hide it from my toddler so he wouldn’t ask.

    But there were definite pros and cons about all of it. Sometimes it was great, sometimes it wasn’t. But having support and people to help me out and commiserate kept me going.

  3. Oh dear. I have a toddler and I’m TTC. Maybe i should wait? But I don’t think that would help. If I may theorize for a bit; I think being a mom is hard. I think being pregnant the first time is hard. i think having one newborn is hard. And then, you get used to it and it changes: Pregnant with a toddler! Newborn and other children! It will always be hard, but you will always get stronger and better and more patient.

    I think you are doing an awesome job. You need to acknowledge that. You are awesome for nursing peanut while pregnant. Sure it’s hard, but you are doing awesome! Just take it one situation at a time.

    Sending love!

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