How Attachment Parenting Will Help You in a Zombie Apocalypse

Happy Halloween! 

Are you ready for a zombie apocalypse? You might be more than you realize! On this All Hallows Eve, I bring to you a list of five ways attachment parenting will help you in the case of a mass epidemic of zombieism.

Breastfeeding

It’s pretty much a given that in a zombie apocalypse, food will be scarce. How fast do you think you can run from zombies while carrying 10 cans of formula? Not to mention all the feeding possibilities! Run out of food? Load the family up on breast milk! No society to worry about disapproving. They’re all zombies now!

Babywearing

Speaking of running from zombies, carrying a baby makes running extra tough! Strap that baby on and you’re good to duck and maneuver with relative ease! Bonus points for learning to wrap because you’ll have the ability to turn any long piece of fabric into a carrier. More bonus points for being able to wear two at once and help the toddler escape demise too.

Elimination Communication

Do you think that you’ll be able to run to Costco for a big box of diapers when you’re fighting off a hoard of sub-humans? Washing cloth diapers is probably out of the mix too, but elimination communication isn’t! Watch for those cues as you’re going about your s scavaging for food and shelter and you’ll be set. Just make sure to keep that potty place far enough away as to not attract the brain eaters.

Co-sleeping and Parenting to Sleep

Do you think you’ll be able to put your babe in a separate room when you’re not sure if you’ll be attacked in the night? Nope, keep that baby tucked in right by you safe and sound. Not to mention that crying it out would be a baring “Hey! We’re hiding here! Come eat our brains!” ‘Nuff said.

Gentle Discipline

When surviving through the end of humanity, you want your kids on your side. By responding to them with love and respect, you’re giving yourself one more ally against the drones. By beating them into submission, you’re creating a child who’s going to push you off the ledge of the building into the crowd of zombies to be torn to bits.

Good luck surviving against the living dead!

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