An Ode to Kellymom

breastfeedingcafecarnivalWelcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of the Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about websites that helped you in your breastfeeding journey. Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 22nd through August 4th!
 


 

As I’m sure you all know, the early days of nursing are full of late nights and lots of questions. When Peanut was a baby, these two things often coincided. This can be a problem when you want answers now (I’m horribly impatient) and everyone else in the world is asleep.

So I looked on the internet.

I’m far from the first mom who has used the internet as her primary source of information in the early days of nursing. Back in these days I didn’t know anyone who had nursed long-term and I didn’t have any breastfeeding books (like the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding, which is now my go-to). I would ask questions at La Leche League meetings, but calling a leader felt too foreign to me. So the internet became my breastfeeding helper.

IMG_0272The problem is that so many sites are promoting information that is outdated, biased, or just plain wrong. It’s so hard for a new mama to not fall trap to one of these sites giving bad information. Actually, that’s a big reason why I started this blog.

When I went searching for an answer to one of my frequent questions, I stumbled upon Kellymom. I fell in love with the site immediately. Not only is virtually every breastfeeding scenario I can come up with discussed, but this site is chock full of citations. The site doesn’t just tell you the right way to do things, it tells you why it’s right.

So Kellymom became my number one place to search out breastfeeding answers. Forget Googling, I’ll Kellymom it. And Kellymom has never let me down. Over the years I’ve added some other trustworthy sources, such as The Womanly Art and the LLL website, but Kellymom is still my go to.

These days, with almost four and a half years of straight nursing under my belt, I have a lot of friends who come to me with questions. I love that I’m a person people can turn to. Often, these questions are over Facebook, which means I’m answering them online. Almost every time I answer a question, there’s a link (or two!) to Kellymom. It’s just such a great resource!

I’m happy to be spreading the word about Kellymom. Hopefully my shouts about this amazing site will reach someone who hasn’t found their trustworthy site yet and save them some grief. I know its certainly helped me on my journey.

 


 
Here are more post by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

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Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival 2011

This year I’m heading the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival again and it starts in 9 days! Don’t worry though, there’s still plenty of time to participate!

The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival works like any other blog carnival. There is a specific topic on a specific day that everyone posts on. Then we all link to each other’s blogs so people can read lots of posts on the same subject. The twist with the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival is that we do this every day for 2 weeks. Don’t worry, you don’t have to participate every day, just as many as you’d like to. Though there are some over-achievers out there that post every day for two weeks.

If you don’t have a blog (or don’t feel comfortable posting on your own blog), you can still participate! We are still looking for guest bloggers for the Breastfeeding Cafe’s blog. Just let me know as soon as possible. Topics are first come first serve! Spots are filling fast, but we still have plenty left. We will not need guest bloggers for the Wordless Wednesdays posts.

This year the Breastfeeding Cafe’s theme is Mothers See! Mothers Do! In public, in pictures, and online too! The topics for the carnival are attempting to stick along this theme. Thanks to all of you who contributed topic ideas! Here is our list of topics:

Monday, July 18—Mothers Before Me: How were you influenced by the mothers before you when it comes to breastfeeding? Did you witness breastfeeding as a child? Was breastfeeding considered taboo in your family? How did this influence your choice to breastfeed?

Tuesday, July 19—Eco-Breastfeeding: The environment is a hot topic at the moment. Was the environment something you considered when you decided to breastfeed? Does the environment come into consideration for other parenting choices you’ve made?

Wednesday, July 20—Wordless Wednesday-Breastfeeding Photos: Show us your breastfeeding photos! Maybe just your favorite or maybe every photo you have, up to you!

Thursday, July 21—Language and Breastfeeding: Most people don’t realize how their language can influence our ideas of breastfeeding. Do you feel this is an issue in our society? If so, how can we change our language to rid our community of the bias against breastfeeding? How do you feel breastfeeding is portrayed by the language in our media?

Friday, July 22—Nursing in Public: What are your views on breastfeeding in public? How do you feel a mother breastfeeding in public influences others in public? Do you feel breastfeeding in public helps to normalize breastfeeding?

Saturday, July 23—Birth Experience: How did your birth experience affect your decision to breastfeed? Did the people present at your child’s birth truly support breastfeeding? Did you get off to a good start or did you have to fight to figure things out? Did you receive good information on breastfeeding from your birth attendants?

Sunday, July 24—Online Breastfeeding: This is the internet age. Many of us log on more than we’d care to admit, but in the case of a new mother that can possibly be a good thing. How did the internet influence your breastfeeding? Did you participate in online forums, Facebook, Twitter, or any other kind of online community? Did this influence your parenting choices? Did these influences help or hinder your efforts?

Monday, July 25—First Nursing in Public Experience: This could be anything from the first time you witnessed a mother breastfeeding in public to the first time you did it yourself. How did you feel about it then? How do you feel about it now?

Tuesday, July 26—Breastfeeding and Multiples: No we’re not just talking about twins, triplets, etc. Any way that you breastfeed with multiple children. Maybe you’ve breastfed while trying to conceive, maybe you’ve breastfed while pregnant, maybe you’ve tandem nursed, maybe you’ve just breastfeed a younger child while chasing the older one. How does breastfeeding help you parent? What are the challenges?

Wednesday, July 27—Wordless Wednesday-Babywearing Photos: Let’s see your favorite babywearing photos! This year at the cafe we will be having a special top-secret babywearing flash mob! There’s still time to participate, so let me know if you’re interested!

Thursday, July 28—Importance of Breastfeeding: Why is breastfeeding personally important to you? Who helped you to first see why breastfeeding would be such a benefit? You know what they say–there’s nothing like word of mouth.

Friday, July 29—Reliable Online Breastfeeding Sources: We all know that it is a mutual blessing and curse that anyone can post on the internet, so what do you do to shield yourself and others from the ones who are wrong? How do you find a good breastfeeding resource online? How do you help other new moms to find good sources of information?

Saturday, July 30—Book Review: Books are a large influence on how we parent and can bring new ideas into light (or help us to shun old ones). Maybe it’s your absolute favorite breastfeeding/parenting book or one you recently read. Maybe it’s one that helped you through the hard times or maybe it’s just advice on what kind of breastfeeding/parenting books to read. Let’s talk about books!

Sunday, July 31—How You Influence Others: What do you think is the most important thing that you do to influence pregnant and new moms to breastfeed? Do you have a story of a mom who you feel you’ve really helped?

Email me at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com and I’ll add you to the email list. I will be sending out a reminder email one week before each topic is supposed to be posted. Posts will need to be up before 12:00pm (noon) Mountain Standard Time on the day specified. Please email me a link to your post as soon as possible (preferably before the day it will be posted) and I will make a list of links (in HTML) that everyone will put on the bottom of their posts. We will also have a blurb about the carnival for you to put at the top of your post (also in HTML). Please make sure that you add the code at the top and bottom of your post so that others can see that you are participating in our carnival and when you receive updates, update them as soon as possible!

Warmly,
Claire
Blog Carnival Mistress

Laurel’s Story

Hello everyone! I know I’ve been pretty absent lately, but with preparing for finals life is pretty hectic. I have a lot to tell you, but it will all have to wait for another day. I just wanted to pop in and tell everyone that they should go check out the At Mother’s Breast post that came up today. I met Laurel through La Leche League and didn’t even know her story until she guest blogged for the SLC Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival a few months back. Made me cry then, and it makes me cry now. So go check it out and I’ll get back to blogging soon!

The Best Start Possible

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is things we’d like to share with our nurslings about what it means for us to breastfeed. Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st! 


 
Breastfeeding you is just the beginning, but it’s the best start I can give you.

As you grow older, breastfeeding will become just one of the many parts of your life. More important things will happen in your life. Breastfeeding will fall into the background. Breastfeeding will not be something you think about every day as you do now. Breastfeeding will be part of what made you, but no longer immediately important.

You may not care whether or not you breastfed when you are 10 or 20 or 30, but one day you will. One day you will come to me when you are pregnant and want to know. You will want the full details of problems we faced, how long you nursed, why I we nursed to begin with.

I will tell you that even though it was such a short period of time in the grand scheme of things, it was a very important part of your life. It helped you to reach your full potential and be as happy and healthy as I wanted you to be. It was only the first few years of your life, but it was important to me. It made you happy. It made me happy. It made the world around as just work. I will tell you that you were a very happy baby and toddler and that even the times you weren’t very happy, breast milk made you happy again. I will tell you that there were difficult times too, but we worked hard and fixed our problems because I knew it would be worth it.

One day, I will help you to have this same special relationship we have with my future grandson or granddaughter. You will understand why I fought so hard to keep our relationship going and give other women the opportunity to have this relationship too. You’ll understand that while it’s only the first 1/20th of your life or less, it’s still incredibly important. It is giving you the best start possible.

 


 Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Facing It As It Comes

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about child-led weaning. Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!


I obviously haven’t had a child wean yet. Peanut is 16 months old and we have no plans of stopping. I’ve written before about how I used to think I’d stop when Peanut was one year old. Of course, that was before she was actually here. Stopping now would be way too much strain on both of us both emotionally and physically. I don’t even know how I would parent without breastfeeding!

Weirdly enough, I got more questions about when I was going to stop before Peanut was a year old than I do now. Maybe it’s because I’m more confident now? Maybe it’s because they figure that if I’m still going, I’m probably not stopping soon? Maybe it’s just that I’m lucky so far.

I am lucky actually. I’m lucky enough to have the people around me support our breastfeeding relationship. This extends to my friends too. The friends who I was afraid to breastfeed in front of when Peanut was tiny don’t even bat an eye now. These people just see it as part of who we are.

Peanut doesn’t nurse much in public anymore. Not because I’m against it, but because she’s too busy. When she does nurse in public, I try to view every time as a teaching moment. Not for me or her, but for the people around us. I feel that every time that I breastfeed in public that I’m helping to normalize breastfeeding for the people around me.

I’m sure it will get more difficult as she gets older—we’re not even past the World Health Organization’s minimum. I am already expecting some backlash from certain family members. I’m sure that I’ll get more complains as she gets older when she nurses in public. I’m sure that it will bother my friends more.

I’m also hoping that the people around me will see her breastfeed regularly enough that it won’t be a big deal to see her nursing as she gets older. I also know that if they can’t respect our breastfeeding relationship enough to not try to interfere that they’re probably not worth it. Of course questions are always welcome, but I hear of other moms being told they need to stop and that is simply wrong. People like that just won’t have a place in our lives.

Guess we’ll just have to face all of that when it comes.

 


 Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Breastfeeding In My Family

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is about family and breastfeeding. Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st!


My family dynamics in my immediate family have worked to my advantage for breastfeeding. It may seem weird from the outside,  but my husband gets me stuff a lot. Not going out and buying stuff, but if I’m sitting down he’ll get up and get me things I need. I’m not entirely sure how this started, but it’s just what we do. Of course, I’ll get up and get most things for myself, but when I’m otherwise occupied, he’ll get them for me. I do it for him too, but not nearly as much.

This became very important when I stared breastfeeding. Especially in those early days, it was very, very useful for me for him to bring me a glass of water or something to eat or my cell phone or my book. It meant I could focus on the task at hand and not really have to worry about my other needs so much. Even now, 16 months into the breastfeeding relationship, he still takes care of me a lot. A few nights ago I forgot to turn the light off when I was trying to nurse Peanut to sleep. Yes, I could have gotten up and walked across the room and turned off the light myself, but that would have ruined all of the progress I had with getting her to sleep. My husband came all the way upstairs and turned the light off for me without a single complaint.

Breastfeeding has also changed my extended family’s dynamics. As far as I know, I am the first person in my family who has breastfed for a long time and the only person in my husband’s besides one cousin who lives across the country. When I first started breastfeeding Peanut, you could easily see how uncomfortable everyone was—myself included! I would leave the room to feed her. Even after I felt comfortable enough to stay in the room, others would leave when I started breastfeeding. Now it’s just become normal. Everyone stays where they are an acts like Peanut isn’t even nursing. Some of them will even continue to play with Peanut while she nurses!

I think a big part of it is how you look at breastfeeding. Many of the complaints that your family may have about your breastfeeding and the awkwardness that it can create even if they don’t complain is due to thinking that breastfeeding is sexual. No, they don’t think “breasts are for sex so babies eating is sex!”, but there is a mentality there. Breastfeeding can not be gross to see in public if it is not sexual. Breastfeeding can not be inappropriate if it is not sexual. You do not need to leave the room if it is not sexual. There is nothing to hide.

If you can keep this mentality and display it to your family, hopefully they can be more accepting of your breastfeeding relationship. Even if you’re afraid, just try to pretend you’re confident. When you’re confident, people are less likely to try to make you feel awkward. This goes for family as much as it goes for people you don’t know.

 


 Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.

Wordless Wednesday: Every Babywearing Photo

Welcome to The Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival!

This post was written as part of The Breastfeeding Cafe’s Carnival. For more info on the Breastfeeding Cafe, go to www.breastfeedingcafe.wordpress.com. For more info on the Carnival or if you want to participate, contact Claire at clindstrom2 {at} gmail {dot} com. Today’s post is Wordless Wednesday: Babywearing Photos! Please read the other blogs in today’s carnival listed below and check back for more posts July 18th through the 31st! 


 

I would have thought that wearing her nearly every day of her life would produce more photos. We also don’t have any from our non-Sleepy Wrap carriers. Guess I have a new assignment for myself!

 


 Here are more posts by the Breastfeeding Cafe Carnival participants! Check back because more will be added throughout the day.